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Northmen - A Viking Saga
Category Action , Adventure , Epic/Historic
Year: 2014
Time: 97 minutes
Production: Two Oceans Production
Director: Claudio Fah
Cast:
Ed Skrein, Ryan Kwanten, Charlie Murphy, Tom Hopper
MPAA R / UK-15
Our Rating 6/10 - Would be better if that annoying little Viking was killed off near the beginning!
Watchability 7/10
Tag-line There's no time to bleed
 
Plot:

A band of Vikings are on a voyage to sack Lindisfarne, to raise money to buy land and pay homage to new masters in Britain, when a storm capsizes their boat. The survivors are washed up on a beach in Scotland behind enemy lines, and must fight to reach the Danelaw and safety in the south.

 
So, how does it end?

I'm not sure on the names, so will need to describe the Vikings instead!

So the meet a monk who is pretty nifty with a staff, and he takes them to his watch tower for safety. He tries to patch up one of the men who has been badly wounded, but doesn't do a great job.

Meanwhile the King of Scotland unleashes his "wolf pack" to track down his daughter who has been kidnapped by the Vikings, and bring her back.  Their two leaders have a different plan, and know that without an heir they will have a right to the throne when the king dies.

Next morning, the wounded Viking dies - so they take him outside and light a funeral pyre.  The fire and smoke across the desolate landscape lets the wolf pack know where they are, better than Google maps, and they storm the tower and set it alight.

The monk leads them down a secret passage and out into the hills, but the wolf pack give chase on horseback.

The Vikings manage to reach a waterfall in time, and their leader faces off against the follicly-challenged wolf pack second-in-command while his men scale it. At the top, the Viking who is good with a bow keeps the enemy back.

The Vikings post a sentry while they take a nap, but he falls asleep allowing some of the swifter enemy to climb the waterfall and stab him through the chest. The others are alerted by the princess who has had a vision, and again they must make a run for it.  They've left behind some booby traps, but the wolf pack still have superior numbers.

The reach a cliff edge, with only a rope bridge taking them to the far side. The men turn to fight, while the princess is taken across the bridge.

Several of the good guys die, while the one who looks like Omar Sharif takes two of the bad guys with him as he jumps to his death, allowing his leader to run across the bridge just as it is cut.

The wolf pack look on helplessly, then realize there is a shortcut. The Vikings hurry to reach the shoreline and the promise of an anchored vessel - but know they will never make it, so stop at a destroyed altar and make their stand.

There's a lot of swords being thrown around like darts, and the second-in-command wolfpack man soon bites it.  The enemy leader looks on in disbelief, which gives the main Viking time to overcome him and they both fall into a tar pit.  The tar is pulling them under, but the Princess hauls her new friend out just in time.

Then, like a 1980s action movie, the bad dude is still alive and rises from the tar, more angry than before, but he's soon dealt with -- by Omar Sharif, who has also managed to make a comeback from the dead.

They finish up with the enemy, then race for the sea - to find that they are too late, and the caves that hold the boats are flooded. The Viking leader jumps from the cliff and dives into the water as the King of Scotland shows up with his army. The others watch as the Viking manages to sail it out of the caves in time.

As the Scottish army run towards the Vikings, and the monk who is still alive, they jump into the water, climb into the boat, and sail south to live another day.

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